Viajar mi Cuerpo, 2024.
Oil Paint on canvas. Purchase
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Art by Danielle Arend
Poem by Janina Gatilao
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Viajar mi Cuerpo (Part 1)
Pelo
She falls down to the midpoint of my back.
Her body is broad, bushy, and black.
She stretches and takes up space.
She forbids to be tamed.
Her strands curl into
the air, grasping
matter around
her. Asking
to be seen
but
mama
rakes her into
three sections. Pulling
her arms and legs into a tight braid.
Mama’s fingernails scraping into her body
bounding her strands, slicking her back, and
silencing her frizz.
They say black hair,
Nappy hair, Big hair, pelo like hers is unacceptable. Pelo
Like mine.
She is a distraction.
Cuello
Mother Mary rested on my neck.
On a bedding of blush and baby blue.
She is golden like the sun
in history & in price––a fortune.
Dancing around mi cuello, is
the tiniest of thread
Weaving one hoop to another.
Like her, it was gentle.
I remember when I moved here,
the first day of school…
He said my necklace was pretty.
I said thank you.
He said my accent was pretty.
But he was the one with the accent
And he kept getting closer.
His hands rising higher.
And in seconds…
I felt Mother Mary
torn off my neck.
Stolen off my body.
And he ran.
It has been said.
That Mother Mary has been taken bodily into Heaven.
I hope so.
Piel
When they describe a skin like mine
It is always compared to food & drink
Dark like coffee.
Creamy like chocolate.
Sweet like caramel.
When they say they are too pale
They spend time in the sun
On a tanning bed
And they wish they had
caramel, coffee, and chocolate
But sometimes, they point out
That my caramel is burnt
My coffee is bitter
My chocolate is dark
And they look at me
And they look away from me
A distasteful flavor
What they ask for, but not what they wanted.
Boca
When you taste English for the first time,
it feels like you open your mouth too wide.
Your teeth and your tongue are working at
different speeds.
When you taste English for the first time,
it will always feel like the first time,
because you can never remember
why the words are backwards.
When you taste English for the first time,
they always ask, “What?”
but it sounds like
“whaaaaa-TTT”.
When you taste English for the first time,
you forget that there are not words
for feelings you have…
so, when they taste your Spanish
I feel pena ajena
because they take my words,
they use a hard D,
they do not roll their R’s,
and they pronounce the G’s and H’s.
I feel embarrassed for them.
But they probably feel embarrassed for me too.
Cambios
Mama and I do not
talk about sex.
Mama and I do not
talk about periods.
Mama and I do not
talk about los cambios
en el cuerpo de una mujer.
I know it did not happen overnight
but one day I noticed my breasts were bigger
and I had hairs sprouting from my armpits
my groin, my upper lips
like nasty wires.
Long, curly, black and thick.
The strangest part was the change inside me.
It felt like burning, pounding, squeezing,
screaming, clenching, ripping.
And when I looked in my
underwear, there was blood.
So much blood.
So much blood.
“¡Mama, me estoy muriendo!”
She ran to the bathroom
slammed the door open,
Took one look at me.
My legs spread,
panties down,
tears in my eyes.
She just shook her head.
She pulled open a drawer,
unleashing a violent pink box,
and handing it to me.
She left and closed the door.
Mama and I do not
talk about los cambios
en el cuerpo de una mujer.
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Janina Gatilao | I go by Nina and I am 28 years old. I have been writing since I was a wee middle-schooler. Over the years I have explored writing steamy, teenage romance stories (heavy on the angst), to poetry that focuses on my families’ and my life experiences. Currently, I am dabbling in comedy and lighthearted work.
From 7 am-4 pm, you can find me teaching 6th grade Language Arts. My students keep me on my toes, but I never run out of things to write about. The education field is a tough one, but I hope to show, in words, a world we have long passed on. One that is funny, awkward, cringey, clueless, and sweet.
Danielle Arend is a Chicago-based painter who uses her art practice as a medium for introspection within the context of the modern age. At the age of 13, Danielle began her artistic journey, teaching herself how to paint and using this medium as a tangible outlet for her imagination and inner thoughts. Through painting, she discovered a powerful tool for self-expression, unlocking hidden aspects of herself that she had never before realized.
Today, Danielle’s artistic exploration revolves around her personal relationship with both nature, technology, and spirituality. Painting continues to serve as a means to make sense of the world and her own mind. In her works, she often incorporates her own presence, allowing her paintings to become visual records of her various states of mind and life experiences. Danielle is deeply intrigued by the intersection of art and the age of over-consumption, questioning how art can be consumed in such a context. As a result, she constantly evolves and experiments with different mediums in order to explore this dynamic.
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1000 Words | Home Not Home Artists + Writers
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