Home is not a place… It’s a feeling, 2024.
Digital Painting. Purchase

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Art by Vivian Jones
Prose by Luz Silva

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November and May used to be insignificant months to me until I moved out of my parents’ house two and a half years ago. In November of 2020, I was hired for my first big-girl job. As soon as I could, I got my own medical insurance and began therapy in the early spring of 2021. I was having an existential crisis and would have a meltdown every other day. My parents’ problems were affecting me, and had been for years, except now I had little to no patience to endure this because I finally comprehended that they were never mine to deal with.

Instead of being able to distance myself from their problems, they involved me more since I was an adult now: that was my chief complaint to my therapist. She asked me why I didn’t leave. Why didn’t I create actual distance between us? I told her that was just not how things were done and I wasn’t sure it was possible to do on my own. I always wanted to move out and my parents knew I would, eventually. I had to explain to her that the expectation was that it would happen when I got married and left the “proper way”.

Months before I met her, I had begun purchasing household items and stashing them in my trunk and closet for when I would move out. I never thought of doing it anytime soon; I only did that to keep this hope alive. I was manifesting it in this way but held lots of doubt that it could happen so soon, not to mention on my own.

For about a week, I gave her question a lot of thought and realized I could afford it and had to do it on my own. So, I began looking for places on Facebook Marketplace. I found a recent posting, inquired, and set up a time for a viewing. That Tuesday morning, I rushed over during my lunch break to see the place and left my application with the gentleman. Things happened really fast afterward. By end of day Tuesday, I had been offered the place. On Thursday, I went over and signed the lease in the morning and that evening I went and bought a new car (I needed a reliable car). The way things lined up that week and worked out, will always be my biggest testament that destiny exists.

All this is to share two points.

I never thought this much time would pass and people would still question why I left. When people ask my parents about me, they’re always surprised to hear that I live alone and haven’t gotten married. My parents still try to make sense of the decision too. Even though we all lived the same experiences, it seems the time passed and distance has faded their memory. I sometimes catch myself thinking it wasn’t that bad, and would have been able to save more money had I stayed, but the thought is short-lived. It was that bad. I haven’t doubted my will to live since I left.

I also did not expect so many people to voice their opinions and question why I chose to pay rent over a mortgage. Or how often I’d feel less than for renting instead of investing in a house. Not that I owe this to anyone, but the answer is simple: I needed to get out ASAP, the rent is affordable, and I wasn’t ready for the commitment and responsibility that comes with owning property.

This November, I celebrate three years at my job, the beginning of the life I have now. I would make all of these choices over and over again if it led me here. Growing up, I had a house but did not find comfort there. I now have a safe place that’s home to me. Choosing myself and living out my desires unapologetically, has made me want more from life.

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Luz Silva | I am a 24 year-old navigating life. Growing up I was taught que calladita me veo más bonita; however, I refuse to believe this idea and writing is an act of defiance. My posts are about my personal experiences and who I am.

Vivian Jones is an African American Illustrator. She is Columbia College Chicago alumni that majored in illustration and animation.

Inspired by Sailor Moon, Vivian enjoys creating playful and colorful illustrations that invoke a whimsical feeling. “The sparkler the better”, She says. She enjoy using her work for visual storytelling similar to those with a similar upbringing as her.

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1000 Words | Home Not Home Artists + Writers

Noa Alemán + Tamar Brooks • Jacqueline Almaguer + Alanis Castillo Caref • Lexi Alvarado + Isabela Ortega • Danielle Arend + Janina Gatilao • Sofia Brunwin + Spencer Hutchinson • Andrea Cole + Rocio Franco • Lydia Collins + Tarnynon Onumonu • Gregory Diaz + Irvin Ibarra • Danielle Dykerhouse + Betsy Van Die • Jonathan Espinoza + ben-aki • Jaymes Fedor + Maria Requena • Samantha Franco + Angeles Rangel • Ines Gardea + Angelica Davila • Frank Geiser + Penny Mann • Evelyn Hernandez + Valeria Osornio • Stephanie Hererra + Neha Chawla • Ivana Jarmon + Theo Sullivan • Vivian Jones + Luz Silva • Lewis Lain + Thulasi Seshan • Cesar Luna + benedicta m badia • Marie Magnetic + Jasmine Rodriguez • Delisha Mckinney + Paloma Velasco • Diana Noh + Juj-Lepe • Andrew Rehs + Corbett Berger • Clau Rocha + Maria Jose Ramos Villagra • Amyia Ross Brittanii Batts (Tanae b) • Fawaz Sakaw + Arianna Maggio • Lucero Sanchez + Clay-Cofre • Ramin Takloo-Bighash + Yiwen-Lyu • TEEL ONE + Melody Contreras • Pamela Trejo + Kim Yeoh • Cindy Uriostegui + Scum Drop • Ami Vasilopoulos + Stephanie Cruz Rincon • Ivy Waegel + Aryn Hills • Emily Schroeder Willis + Angelica Flores • Raine Yung + Micaela Petkus